Conducting a detailed friendship audit means erasing toxic friends from your life or even demoting the ones you’ve held in a high esteem for a really long time - you know the ones who always seem to take but never add any value to your life, they may stunt growth or even create barriers to block this process. An audit of friendships has sort of become the new age social de-cluttering, the decision that leads towards a different, better life.

Trust me - you read right, I didn’t know such things existed either. But if you think about it, it makes perfect sense right? Sometimes too we need to reduce our friendship network to increase our friendship netWORTH and we all have that friend that weighs more than they lift, or that friend that takes way more than they give and its always good to sort that out.

A few weeks ago, I found myself having a conversation with a friend who I now classify as family relating to past experiences encountered with persons I used to and still somewhat deem as ‘friends’. The points mentioned led me to start assessing the purpose of the people in my life that I currently interact with on that level and is what inspired the writing of this entry.

Throughout our lives we meet people who we think we want to hold on to forever, but this grip often does more harm than good. Friends are supposed to help us to grow into the best versions of ourselves and offer each other support, when needed. In a friendship there should always honesty, trustworthiness, loyalty and love present and these go without saying. For me, a friendship is similar to that of a committed relationship without the intimacy that normally exists between lovers. And while I may understand that some people have different friends for different reasons, it’s important to understand and establish the depth of the relationship with that individual to avoid certain types of interactions. It’s also important to note that not because you’ve known someone for all your life means they should continue to stay in it.

And sometimes, kicking someone out completely may not be the best option for you. You can still keep them around but at a distance and without the advantages they had before. This is where boundaries come in which we will explore in the future.

While there are many reasons to conduct a friendship audit, these are the main characteristics to look for when trying to determine who should get the boot.

Jealousy;
Selfishness- not willing to reciprocate especially when they obviously can;
Betrayal and Disloyalty;
Mentally and Emotionally Taxing/Draining- unwilling to heed aid;
Dishonesty;
Invalidation;

Every now and then, I’d suggest you take a few moments and assess who in your life you actually consider true friends. Use the above characteristics to determine if these people fit into where you are now and where you want to go.

Section the people in your life in the following categories: Best friends, acquaintances, people I know, to be discarded and make a note as to why these are the categories they fall in. This will help you to decide who should stay or how they should stay and then you can tailor your interactions around this reality - you will learn who to really stick your neck out for and how doesn't deserve such a service.

Throughout the course of our lives, we learn that change is inevitable and with change comes the need for certain adjustments, especially with ourselves and the people and things around us. Conducting this audit may just be what you need to transition to that next phase in your life.