Tell me what you want (how you want it?)
Ass up and face down (with the loving)
Baby let me know (when you need it)
Four-course meal, chopped down (when you eat it)
Make me curl my toes (toes)
What's the quickest way to turn you on?
Morning, middle of the night
Tell me what you want…
Lyrics from ‘Morning’ by Teyana Taylor ft. Kehlani

From the role of porn and the strength of libido (I still find this word extremely hilarious) to the importance of physical attractiveness and the desire to chase, popular culture paints a picture that doesn't always match the reality of what happens behind closed bedroom doors.

“The stereotype that we have in our society around men and sex is that men constantly are in the mood for sex and that they’re always interested,” says human sexuality expert, Sarah Hunter Murray. This vast extrapolation creates many problems in and outside of relationships, it dissuades

One of the keys, I believe, to getting and giving pleasure is to actually know your body inside out in addition to what you like as opposed to what you are taught to like or what you might have seen in porn. Touch and feel every part of being and make your own toes curl. It’s life most thrilling adventure. When you have taken that first step on this adventure, you can teach someone else to touch those pleasure points.

For a lot of men, their body is an immense pleasure machine that they’d like to enjoy at full throttle. Since orgasm is usually reliable and easy, a variety of sexual acts, positions, and rhythms have proven to be a fantastic way to explore and elevate their gratification. Every flirtation, smile, innuendo, shapely figure, or sexual image, whether fantasized or real, is a hit on the male brain. Their brainwaves spike with elation at the slightest experience of something (or someone) reminding them of sex.

I had a particular scenario where I was dating someone and it was hell to get them to a point where they were comfortable enough to open up (pun intended). Learning how to actually get them there did fucking number on my confidence, especially because I’ve never experienced anything or anyone like that before. Not trying to pat myself on the back or toot my own horn, but it is usually pretty easy for me to pleasure someone I am sexually interactive with and be able to tell, off the bat, that they are enjoying it. I say that all to say that there is also a mental game you have to play and a balance you have to find when it comes to sexual encounters. Popular culture shapes our relationships, can influence our opinions and can change the way we view ourselves. Don’t allow these stereotypes to influence your sex life in such a way that you lose yourself.