There are MANNNYYYYY layers to dating someone or multiple people and very often it starts at what exactly you define as dating. In this context we will refer to dating one person with the sole purpose of entering into a monogamous relationship for the long haul. Cool? Cool. As you embark on that, the more time flies by, the more different things begin to matter more. These things aren’t usually things that you can see. They’re really ideas, attitudes, and philosophies that you look for a potential prospect to have.

A major issue that usually comes up is that of finance. To me, if it doesn’t come up as a discussion pretty early when dating in your 20s or early 30s at least (about a year or so into the relationship) then I don’t know if that is particularly a good thing depending heavily on who you are dating.

At an age like 29, finances matter. When you date someone you look to see how someone manages their money and it gives a clear indication of what kind of person that is. It says a lot about someone who can live within their means. Generally it is easier at this age to not live within your means and not think of the implications it will have later on in life such as like a crazy debt burden especially when you plan or already have a family and kids. The thing is that you can create debt of expenditure for things that matter (like an education or medical and living expenses) versus frivolous expenses that could be left alone. Having poor practices as it pertains to managing expenses and “fun” money is not something to be proud of.

I’m well aware that many guys aren’t good with their money. I’ve heard more than enough date horror stories. I think a word we all need to take heed to in life is “no”, say no sometimes. We don’t always have it. As a matter of fact if I say no to attend an event of some sort, there’s an 80% chance that it’s because I’m budgeting.

We live in this connected world where so many events are happening, and you’ve just got to be there! Damn it, it’s going to be a MOVIE! Well that sure is something to consider isn’t it? But there’s always a bigger picture. Saying no sometimes in the name of saving some bread is okay. Saying no means saying yes to a little sacrifice.

“If you ain’t got no money, stay your broke ass home!”

Be the symbol of security and stability. Being decent with your finances is a huge indicator of how secure and stable you can be. When the person you are dating is out with you, they should get that vibe and of course there should be a level of reciprocity but you should always be confident enough even if it is to have that uncomfortable conversation first and ensure you are on the same page.

If ll you can afford is pasta from Domino’s and Netflix on a first date then do that. Dating is sexy when it’s responsible.

How you manage money is very indicative of how responsible you are. When you have a little bit of money to fool with dating can be fun. You have some more options. You can be a bit more spontaneous with the activities. There’s no worry hanging over your heads as to if you all can do something. It’ll only be a question of when. Learn to say no sometimes. In the long run you’ll be happier. You’ll probably draw better prospects to you as well. You see when your shit is together, you truly won’t accept someone who still doesn’t have a clue. Being responsible is sexy!

These are my words and I make no apologies.

Peace!