Anything I do is manly, because I'm a man and I'm doing it. Simply put!

If we have advanced so much as it relates to gender roles and conformity, I can’t imagine ever imagine how it was 10, 20 or even 30 years ago. Today, everything we seem to do is scrutinised by this man card and it has to stay in tact and unsoiled.

Crying over an emotional situation. Man card punched.
Having tea with my little cousin. Man card punched.
Daddy dance time with the kids. Man card punched.
A "spa day" with a straight razor shave, mani/pedi and towel treatment. Man card punched.
Wearing purple or pink, (the colors of supposed royalty and pussy!). Man card punched.
Having my prostate stimulated. Man card punched.

If you're not insecure, you don't miss out on experiences because of labels!

Don't you dare "not try something" because you're afraid of seeming unmanly. Worrying about how "manly" you appear to the world is actually the least manly thing you can do if we are being frank. Pretty much everything and anything stigmatized as "gay" or "unmanly" is probably going to improve your life (yup, read that again and think about), or at the very least is worth trying.

Investing in a better grooming routine, trying 'feminine' hobbies like dancing, thinking about and considering your feelings, being more open to giving and receiving comfort and affection, being unashamed of liking genuinely GOOD shit like fruity cocktails and bright colours, prostate orgasms - really, toxic masculinity has stripped men of so much and forced a lot of them to live scrunched up, repressed little lives. Learning to let go of that will really help open up your world so much.

I was reading on Twitter the other day a girl saying that if she goes on a date with a guy and he orders a “girly” drink then he’s no longer her date, he’s now one of her girls.

COCKtails have gender now?! Well clearly!

There is sadly a sigma around cocktails being "unmanly" because some guys think all cocktails are sweet and gross-tasting. There are plenty of non-sugary cocktails out there strong enough to turn you the fuck over when I think about it, I don't really like sugary drinks either but love certain cocktails and what does it matter what I consume? How does that affect my manliness or lack thereof?

Issues such as careers and occupations, black men especially suffer because social workers and therapists are mostly female, but at the same time young boys need good male role models, and there should be a demand for male social workers since there are so few of them. So be a God damn social worker if that’s where your heat leads you, make that difference. Look around you, we need it.

Sitting down to pee! Why is this a feminine thing to do again? In the privacy of my own home? Middle of the night? Sit down and keep sleepin', no shame in the game. Don't want to put your book down? No problem, sit and read. To be clear, if I'm not at home I'm standing which is a hygiene issue which we will explore at another time.

The point of all of this is that we are robbing ourselves with this deep misogynistic way of thinking and it is causing issues even within the black community. Closing issues such as wage gap and eradicating the killing of our women begins with throwing away the gender roles and the taught that women or women-likened roles are inferior to those attributed to men. Look into yourself and do exactly what you want to do to better yourself and society, stop labeling shit as feminine because that’s what you were told by your Daddy or your uncle.

No beuno hermano! Let’s do better!