If you’ve previously been in a relationship, you know how much work it takes and if you haven’t be prepared for the journey. As much as we like to say we don’t need anyone, a lot of us do and I say this all the time, the strongest drug that exists isn’t an actual narcotic. It’s love. we get so high off love that we lose ourselves in the other person and get caught up in our relationships that we forget ourselves. Sounds amazing right? I’m sure you’re probably wondering why you aren’t in one right now but it’s important to note that, there’s a lot of preparation that needs to go into getting ready to share yourself with someone else. here are a few steps I’ve learnt along the way that have helped, and I HOPE would help with getting into new relationships:

#1. BEGIN WITH YOU

It’s easy to have certain expectations from a partner. We want others to mould our desires. From one’s interests to physical appearance, there happens to be a whole load of things people are “looking out” for. In addition to that, as I mentioned before, we often lose ourselves in relationships because we make everything about our partner. We miss out on so many opportunities and create the perfect person to suit the need of our partners that we begin lying to ourselves about who we are. STOP THAT. take some time to figure yourself out. Figure out who you are, what you want, what you like to eat, what you like to do for fun and learn these things for yourself. Not because you think this will make you likeable nor because you feel you HAVE TO. The only thing you HAVE TO do is prioritize yourself and ensure you are mentally and emotionally healed from any damage that may hinder a fruitful union and that you are stable enough to begin a new relationship. Find what it feels like to enjoy your own company so in the event a relationship does not work out and you are left alone, you won’t feel alone because you enjoy yourself.

#2. MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING FOR YOUR PARTNER

Now that you’ve prioritized yourself and established who you are and what you want, it’s time to do a bit of house cleaning. Be rid of those toxic traits you know are holding you back, you may just end up hurting yourself. Get yourself together, get a job, find a hobby to lessen the stress of life itself. Do things to make yourself genuinely happy. THERAPY can help immensely with this as it allows you to get your life in order to facilitate other people in it.

#3. PAST LEARNINGS CREATE AN AVENUE FOR A GOLDEN FUTURE

Mistakes are lessons in disguises. Learn from them. If it’s one thing I had to figure out the hard way, it’s that I can’t blame anyone else but myself for falling into the same trap more than once. At the same time, however, it’s important that you leave what is irrelevant from your past, in your past. That may sound a bit contradictory, I know, but in establishing the difference between lessons and trauma, you will be able to ensure that you move forward on the correct path without the additional and unnecessary baggage to hold you back.

#4. LEARN FROM THOSE AROUND YOU

Not all lessons have to come from your experiences. You must have, at someplace in your life, experienced someone else in a relationship. You’d have seen their operations, their behaviours and traits that you like and dislike and from those, you are able to establish what it is that you want and do not want for yourself and your partner in your next relationship. Use the information you get indirectly from those around you to make your relationship more comfortable.

#5. DIFFERENCES ARE INEVITABLE

Remember that two different people have two completely different personalities, needs, hobbies, ways of thinking and preferences. Learn to accept differences and find a way to meet others halfway, at a safe place that is feasible for both parties. Relationships often come with constant bickering so in figuring out ways to understand others and not feel like you always need to have the last say or be right, you will have more peaceful discussions that do not end up turning into disrespectful arguments.

No matter how difficult it gets, if you have the fundamentals set right, your relationship should be able to withstand the hardships that will most definitely come.

The above pointers will help you to strengthen your decisions and be well informed about what you are getting into while preparing yourself for the journey.

Good luck!