Things Not To Say To A Black Man

Instagram Photo by @ohmakeda

I was on Instagram scrolling and I stumbled on Avery Francis’ (@averyfrancis) post about the microaggressions Black men face daily. These things not only dehumanize us but it stands desensitize the nature of Black men by allow non-Black people to feel more privileged by the nature of our Blackness hidden under the blanket of “meaning well”.

Here is her post, tell me what you think:

“I only date black men”

Racial fetishism is sexually fetishizing a person or culture belonging to a specific race or ethnic group. For Black men, it shows up in everyday situations like work, on social media and even on dating apps. Racial fetishization isn’t a compliment. Comments like this aren’t out of genuine interest or admiration for a person – they come from exclusively being interested in someone based on their race. When you fixate on someone’s skin colour, Black men and POC like, you’re othering us in sexual way. Joking that you have a jungle fever or that you love the taste of chocolate is so gross. Racial fetishization is a thing. Stop.

“I’m darker than you”

It’s summer now so I know some of the Karens have already been saying this. Does your fake tan come with 400 years of systematic oppression, daily microaggressions, bias at work and racial inequalities too? Yah, I didn’t think so. “I’m darker than you” or “I’m Blacker than you are” is a loaded comment, so I’ll just leave that right there. Unless you live in Black skin 365 days a year, we really don’t want to hear this from you.

“You must have a big dick”

So, apparently this is a thing. It is really gross. Comments like this are not only really invasive they are dehumanizing. Like any other race, culture or subculture, Black men are painted in a certain light sexually by society. There’s enough history, media and porn to illustrate and explain what these stereotypes are. Reducing anyone to the size of their genitalia is really disgusting. Also, comments like this are straight up harassment and need to stop.

“You aren’t Black-Black”

What kinds of Black guys are you referring to when you say this? The type of Black men who are negatively and inaccurately reflected through carefully curated stereotypes? Does this mean that the Black man you are saying this to is a safe or acceptable Black man? Or, is their Blackness less threatening to you? Pushing your stereotype of how a Black person speaks, acts, behaves and exists is harmful because you generalize an entire race. Appropriating Black culture will never equate to the real lived experiences of a person existing in a Black boy, Period. I don’t care how woke you think you are.

“You are so aggressive”

For years Black men have been negatively depicted as angry, confrontational or aggressive in the media and pop culture. After decades of careful curating of negative stereotypes of Black men. If a Black man is assertive, passionate or spirited, his behavior is often received in a negative way. He is perceived as a threat, dangerous or scary. This type of bias often causes Black men to be misunderstood, brutalized and attacked. Black men aren’t aggressive, your views about them are.

“I don’t see colour”

This seems innocent enough, but it is really a problematic thing to say. You may mean well, but this is a harmful thing to say to a black man, woman or any person of colour. If you are looking to become a better ally acknowledging race or racial differences is a great place to start. Don’t dismiss a Black person’s lived experience because of you own discomfort with acknowledging and talking about racial differences.

“You sound white”

Here’s the thing there is no universal tone or way of speaking for Black people and pushing your own bias, stereotypes, and narrow assumptions that you have about how black people sound can be harmful. Feeling a sense of belonging is already tricky for Black folks. Minimizing us to how you think we should look; act or sound ignores a whole part of identity and humanity. What does ‘white’ or ‘black’ sound like anyway? Honestly, I’ve never said “you don’t sound white” to a white person when we’ve first met.

“You are so articulate”

When you say this to a Black man, you are implying that you are shocked that he is eloquent and well spoken. Comments like this speak to the educational inequities that exist between Black and non-Black communities. It suggests that Black men are typically not articulate, so it comes as a surprise to you. Nothing about this comment is okay. If you are surprised when we are articulate, you have some work to do. Id suggest start with checking your own bias.

“You don’t sound black”

This comment highlights the subtle nuances of racism depicted in media and pop culture that do not accurately illustrate how we all speak. If a Black man speaks with elocution and diction, they are often faced with this critique. “You don’t sound Black” is harmful because it feeds in to the negative stereotypes that tend to oppress Black men at work and beyond. Not all Black people sound the same.

Righting My Wrongs

Photo by Ben Shan on Unsplash

Let’s be real. No-one likes to admit they’re wrong. The mountains crumble, the sky caves in, and the earth opens up to swallow your shame. A wise man once said, “It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a man to admit he’s wrong.” Of course, that’s not a saying but it should be. Feel free to quote me cuz that was mad deep, not entirely original but deep, don’t judge me.

It’s easy for us to make a mistake and run with it, stick by it, and fall in love with it - Unfortunately I have done this a fuck load of times. But the one thing we rarely ever do is own up to it. And that’s a cheap formula for destroying relationships, friendships, and futures. If society is built on honesty and justice, well I’m sure we want it to be, then this is where it begins to disintegrate.

When I was in the eighth grade (bare with me, even though this was a million years ago), I witnessed this firsthand and it’s crazy how the simplest things can snowball. Really crazy! Watch me..

It related to to of my classmates, one of them was “bright”, always shows up for class, always does his work, and always gets great grades, let’s call him Rupert. The other was just an average boy. Not too exceptional but certainly one of those you should look out for. Now our English teacher was really strict - Mr. Haye, I can never forget that man. You couldn’t miss a single deadline or you’d be next doom of the island, listen he got really creative with that! I think he enjoyed it waaayyyy too much.

At the end if eight grade in Literature class there’s this final essay on one of the books we had to turn in. I don’t even remember the name, you could throw any book title at me and I’m sure it would sound right, bleh, not that deep. Anyway, Brandon forgot his essay but “found” one on the classroom, quickly rewrote it, slapped his name on it, and handed it in for a fat A+. Rupert on the other hand panicked when he couldn’t find the essay, tried to do a quick rewrite from memory, and ended up getting a C. What made it worse was that after trying to explain, the teacher publicly embarrassed him for not taking school seriously.

Rupert broke at that moment.

What followed was a string of absences and lackluster academic performance. He went from a budding scholar to a budding bum and it broke Brandon’s heart to watch. So he finally fessed up to Rupert and their teacher and got their grades switched around. Now, my name’s not Brandon but I was that guy. I did something wrong and sat on it for a while before making it right. In that short time, I watched someone spiral into a shell of himself. Looking back it at it now, I wonder how much worse it could have been if I hadn’t made it right.

And I realized a lot of people wonder the very opposite.

They reminisce about things they have done and wonder how better things would be if they had right the wrongs they did to others. Most of them never get to find out.

Besides saving someone’s academic pursuits, righting your wrongs helps in many ways. It can mend strained relationships, promote personal healing, and relieve you of heavy baggage. You’re not just improving your own life, you’re bettering the lives of others as well.

Whether you’re partners, family, friends, or strangers, confessing your misdeeds and redeeming yourself is the kinder side of humanity that we all need. So let the mountains crumble, watch the sky cave in, and allow the earth to swallow you whole. At the end of it all, the world will be a better place.

Be the camel that threads the needle. Okurr? Lol.

Feature: Healthline’s Best Blogs 2020

Photo by Healthline.com

We are grateful and honoured to be featured as one Healthline.com’s best blogs of 2020. Healthline’s mandate is geared at the holistic you. How you feel affects every single day of your life, which is why you work so hard to get well and stay well. No matter your journey, we’re here to support, guide, and inspire you. With that being said they featured blogs in this article who are geared exclusively to men and give clear information, practical tips, and advice that encourages readers to become their own health advocates, these are the top resources to inform and inspire.

We are honoured to be featured and will continue to putting in the work to educate and inspire men.

Check out the rest of the article here.

Stay blessed and protect your melanin!

Unmanly or Ungodly?

Photo by Dorrell Tibbs on Unsplash

Anything I do is manly, because I'm a man and I'm doing it. Simply put!

If we have advanced so much as it relates to gender roles and conformity, I can’t imagine ever imagine how it was 10, 20 or even 30 years ago. Today, everything we seem to do is scrutinised by this man card and it has to stay in tact and unsoiled.

Crying over an emotional situation. Man card punched.
Having tea with my little cousin. Man card punched.
Daddy dance time with the kids. Man card punched.
A "spa day" with a straight razor shave, mani/pedi and towel treatment. Man card punched.
Wearing purple or pink, (the colors of supposed royalty and pussy!). Man card punched.
Having my prostate stimulated. Man card punched.

If you're not insecure, you don't miss out on experiences because of labels!

Don't you dare "not try something" because you're afraid of seeming unmanly. Worrying about how "manly" you appear to the world is actually the least manly thing you can do if we are being frank. Pretty much everything and anything stigmatized as "gay" or "unmanly" is probably going to improve your life (yup, read that again and think about), or at the very least is worth trying.

Investing in a better grooming routine, trying 'feminine' hobbies like dancing, thinking about and considering your feelings, being more open to giving and receiving comfort and affection, being unashamed of liking genuinely GOOD shit like fruity cocktails and bright colours, prostate orgasms - really, toxic masculinity has stripped men of so much and forced a lot of them to live scrunched up, repressed little lives. Learning to let go of that will really help open up your world so much.

I was reading on Twitter the other day a girl saying that if she goes on a date with a guy and he orders a “girly” drink then he’s no longer her date, he’s now one of her girls.

COCKtails have gender now?! Well clearly!

There is sadly a sigma around cocktails being "unmanly" because some guys think all cocktails are sweet and gross-tasting. There are plenty of non-sugary cocktails out there strong enough to turn you the fuck over when I think about it, I don't really like sugary drinks either but love certain cocktails and what does it matter what I consume? How does that affect my manliness or lack thereof?

Issues such as careers and occupations, black men especially suffer because social workers and therapists are mostly female, but at the same time young boys need good male role models, and there should be a demand for male social workers since there are so few of them. So be a God damn social worker if that’s where your heat leads you, make that difference. Look around you, we need it.

Sitting down to pee! Why is this a feminine thing to do again? In the privacy of my own home? Middle of the night? Sit down and keep sleepin', no shame in the game. Don't want to put your book down? No problem, sit and read. To be clear, if I'm not at home I'm standing which is a hygiene issue which we will explore at another time.

The point of all of this is that we are robbing ourselves with this deep misogynistic way of thinking and it is causing issues even within the black community. Closing issues such as wage gap and eradicating the killing of our women begins with throwing away the gender roles and the taught that women or women-likened roles are inferior to those attributed to men. Look into yourself and do exactly what you want to do to better yourself and society, stop labeling shit as feminine because that’s what you were told by your Daddy or your uncle.

No beuno hermano! Let’s do better!

Show Me The Money!

Photo by Matthew Lancaster on Unsplash

There are MANNNYYYYY layers to dating someone or multiple people and very often it starts at what exactly you define as dating. In this context we will refer to dating one person with the sole purpose of entering into a monogamous relationship for the long haul. Cool? Cool. As you embark on that, the more time flies by, the more different things begin to matter more. These things aren’t usually things that you can see. They’re really ideas, attitudes, and philosophies that you look for a potential prospect to have.

A major issue that usually comes up is that of finance. To me, if it doesn’t come up as a discussion pretty early when dating in your 20s or early 30s at least (about a year or so into the relationship) then I don’t know if that is particularly a good thing depending heavily on who you are dating.

At an age like 29, finances matter. When you date someone you look to see how someone manages their money and it gives a clear indication of what kind of person that is. It says a lot about someone who can live within their means. Generally it is easier at this age to not live within your means and not think of the implications it will have later on in life such as like a crazy debt burden especially when you plan or already have a family and kids. The thing is that you can create debt of expenditure for things that matter (like an education or medical and living expenses) versus frivolous expenses that could be left alone. Having poor practices as it pertains to managing expenses and “fun” money is not something to be proud of.

I’m well aware that many guys aren’t good with their money. I’ve heard more than enough date horror stories. I think a word we all need to take heed to in life is “no”, say no sometimes. We don’t always have it. As a matter of fact if I say no to attend an event of some sort, there’s an 80% chance that it’s because I’m budgeting.

We live in this connected world where so many events are happening, and you’ve just got to be there! Damn it, it’s going to be a MOVIE! Well that sure is something to consider isn’t it? But there’s always a bigger picture. Saying no sometimes in the name of saving some bread is okay. Saying no means saying yes to a little sacrifice.

“If you ain’t got no money, stay your broke ass home!”

Be the symbol of security and stability. Being decent with your finances is a huge indicator of how secure and stable you can be. When the person you are dating is out with you, they should get that vibe and of course there should be a level of reciprocity but you should always be confident enough even if it is to have that uncomfortable conversation first and ensure you are on the same page.

If ll you can afford is pasta from Domino’s and Netflix on a first date then do that. Dating is sexy when it’s responsible.

How you manage money is very indicative of how responsible you are. When you have a little bit of money to fool with dating can be fun. You have some more options. You can be a bit more spontaneous with the activities. There’s no worry hanging over your heads as to if you all can do something. It’ll only be a question of when. Learn to say no sometimes. In the long run you’ll be happier. You’ll probably draw better prospects to you as well. You see when your shit is together, you truly won’t accept someone who still doesn’t have a clue. Being responsible is sexy!

These are my words and I make no apologies.

Peace!

Book Review: A Plea To Our Sons

Highly Inspirational, Life-Changing!

I had the opportunity to read Alice Taylor’s new book A Plea to Our Sons, from a Mother who Cares. This book offers advice and pep talks from Alice and from a variety of Black men on how young black men can find their way in an often confusing and hostile world with self-respect and wisdom. This would be a great gift idea to mature well thinking black men especially in the climate we find ourselves in today.

A Plea to Our Sons, from a Mother who Cares is an inspirational book touching everyone’s soul. It provides prominent remedial guidance and encouragement to young black men. It’s a meditative book which gives the reader a positive insight into the life and finding true and pure enlightenment of making life better and more comfortable to make sense of the world around us. It gives the true meaning of self-discovery, self-healing and genuine love for one's self. Alice F. Taylor is an author who understands the life of young black men. The daily struggles they face, many of which are the stumbling blocks to achieving their dreams as many are the time's men of colour are looked down upon, especially in the African-American society. The book impressively guides the reader through spiritual, mental and physical health life lessons. It inspires the young men to make the right choices to continue with their education and abstain from drugs and violence that are so tragically prevalent in our communities. It delivers lessons to young black-men to truly live according to their beliefs and firmly stand their ground and not to become a mere follower of the crowd. It gives the reader a mindset which allows positivity to ooze out from within, learning to be passionate about developing a personal relationship with the Lord and continually seek him to energize them with His power. What we encounter in life is so significant to our future; hence we need the right tools such as this book to tackle the struggles. The novel is expertly written as it contains real-life stories of black heroes and how they have accomplished their dreams.  At the end of every chapter, there are questions which help evaluate one’s self and hence getting a means of handling and understanding life effectively. This book is purely what everyone needs to make a change in their life—highly recommended!

Alice Taylor is a former registered nurse who worked both as a civilian and served in the United States Army Nurse Corp for 28 years. She retired as a Lieutenant Colonel. During Desert Storm, she served as the Chief Medical Officer of the Troop Medical Clinic at Camp Robinson in North Little Rock, Arkansas. Alice completed her nursing education at St. Vincent's School of Nursing in 1969. She is a co-founder of Zero To Ten Publishing Company with her husband, Johnny L. Taylor, author of "Growing Up in the South: Lessons Learned" and "The 10 Theory: Lessons Learned."Alice and Johnny reside in Little Rock and  are the parents of Dr. Amber R. Smith and Zina Taylor. Alice enjoys listening to Jazz music, cooking, fishing, and gardening. She is a youth leader at Mosaic Central Church in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Buy now, click here.

The Case of the Ex: Upgrade or Downgrade?

“So you bought me a car, he can buy that too
I can take care of myself and I can find someone to do it too, baby
You actin' like you upgradin' me, I upgraded you
You and me Fashion Week at Paris, I put you on to that new
But you took advantage of me, took advantage of you, took advantage
I cannot understand it, I cannot understand it.”

Is there ever really a such thing as an upgrade or downgrade in dating and if there is what is the criteria for an upgrade?

Of course when you break up with an ex, most of us don’t want to see them move on with someone more attractive, more accomplished or with more money - that’s considered an upgrade. You stalk an ex’s social media in anticipation inevitably of when they move on and find someone else, better. We’d all like to believe that “they’ll never find any one better than me?”

If we’re so fixated on what our exes are doing outside of us, we might as well get back together right? Obviously, the past isn’t in the past if we’re worried about an ex’s new this or new that.

“In a perfect world, as we move from relationship to relationship there should be some level of upgrading as we learn from our past mistakes and have a better understanding of what we want in our partner. Upgrading not in disrespectful way to your ex but rather upgrading in your emotional state. However, sometimes we do not take sufficient time for ourselves to heal and have a moment of introspection to truly understand ourselves before moving forward. This doesn’t happen for most of us and we focus on upgrading in the sense of ‘having a better looking’ new partner or rushing in something to prove a point.” J.M.

Then you could say there is no such thing as an upgrade or downgrade, there are only different experiences. Someone might just have other things to offer that an ex didn’t possess. Good people are just good people, and you may have found a more suitable match, which doesn’t make an ex worse or of lesser value. One objective with every relationship should be to inherently upgrade yourself and your decision making. Each experience should be a lesson, a lesson in learning to love better. You should have the ability to be a better version of you, to be capable of not making the same mistakes you did in the past and to bring wealth to a new relationship.

“I don’t really believe that there’s such a thing as an upgrade or a downgrade in the context most of us think. Most of us think if you date someone that’s not as attractive as your previous ex then you’ve downgraded. You date someone with more money; you’ve upgraded. What I do believe is an upgrade or downgrade in the things you’re willing to allow somebody to do/treat you .” K.H.

The talk about upgrading or downgrading is also tricky, because you can get back with an ex and upgrade/downgrade. What if your ex had other experiences in-between your last foray or learned from the mistakes you guys made in the past? Would it be an upgrade if they were able to love you better the next time, the way you always deserved, the way you wanted them to love you all along?

I think you can upgrade or downgrade. But an upgrade is dependent upon the success or potential success of the new relationship. Attractiveness, money or superficial things can contribute to this but more important factors are kindness, wisdom, love, communication, commitment, care, etc. It’s not the things that you can see that make the next relationship an upgrade, but pillars of the emotional and spiritual connection are the deciding factors. Your ability to pick a better match for you is moreso an upgrade in who you now are as a person, than an indictment on who your ex was - you’ve upgraded yourself.

What’s your opinion can you upgrade or downgrade? If you can what’s the criteria? Has a rekindled relationship with an ex been an upgrade or downgrade for you? Are we too concerned with what our exes think to find true love?

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Five Books Every Black Young and Wildly Ambitious Man Should Read

If there is one thing the great men of history have in common it’s this: books. They read, a lot. I know it’s my first post and it something as boring as reading right? Reading is something I was forced into doing and something I forced myself to love as I grew up. The result of this practice I have grown to appreciate today are great.

Theodore Roosevelt (ugh, a “white” I know, not too much of a bad one though) carried a dozen books with him on his perilous exploration of the River of Doubt (I love travelling thus my inclusion) and Lincoln (another one) read everything he could get his hands on. Napoleon (I swear I’m getting to my point without lightening the space too much) had a library of some 3,500 books with him at St. Helena, and before that had a traveling library he took on campaigns. We can appreciate where I am going with this of course, these powerful men owed a lot of their knowledge and references to books they would have consulted on their journeys. Barack Obama (at last, right?) said “Reading is the gateway skill that makes all other learning possible, from complex word problems and the meaning of our history to scientific discovery and technological proficiency.”

A little closer to home? Dr. Joe White speaks about the psychological interventions used to liberate black males. He postulates that these interventions cannot be based on principles of domination and control (after all that’s what we have spent centuries enduring and fighting, it should make sense right?). The importance of emotional expression, mind-body-spirit holism, the interconnectedness of all living things and the importance of confronting messages of dehumanization in their comprehensive psychological theory of African descent individuals.

Hard Times – Charles Dickens

Even though there are different forms of utilitarianism, Dickens writes through the character of Mr. Gradgrind a staunch example. This is not Dickens’ most famous work, it has the most to teach us though in my opinion. It takes us to a time when economic hardship and ingrained old world prejudices keep people from exploring their potential. Dickens’ presentation of it makes it clear exactly who the victim of Utilitarianism is and it’s hard not to have even a small bit of personal re-evaluation by the end.

Empire State of Mind: How Jay-Z Went from Street Corner to Corner Office - Zack O’Malley Greenburg

The kind of biography that doubles as a business book actually – with a great balance between the two. It shows how as a young man in Brooklyn, Jay applied hustling techniques to the music business and eventually built his empire. A true hustler, he never did only one thing — from music to fashion to sports, Jay dominated each field, always operating on the same principles. As he puts it, “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!”, thought provoking and inspiring which will stick with you.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X: As Told to Alex Haley by Malcolm X.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X was written for young black boys, boys who needed hope – a hope to carry on. This read emulates a man who is born into adversity and pain, struggles with criminality, does prison time, teaches himself to read through the dictionary, finds religion, and then becomes an activist for Civil Rights before being gunned down by his former supporters when he tempers the hate and anger that had long defined parts of his message. Booker T. Washington’s memoir Up from Slavery and Frederick Douglass’s epic narrative are both incredibly moving and inspiring as well.

The Will to Change: Men Masculinity and Love
Bell Hooks at her usual ground-breaking best! Micro level cruelty is on trial often in this book as hooks discusses how current systems of domination prevent males from experiencing and expressing love. The shutting down of vulnerable emotions prevents men from expressing love and also prevents others from getting to know us. And make no mistake, men cannot experience love if we refuse to share our most vulnerable selves. To be clear, all genders have embraced patriarchal dominance and thereby this system of volatility and control is perpetuated across the gender continuum. hooks explains why traditional masculinity is the enemy of the Black family and Black male mental health; all the while offering a blue print for rejecting patriarchy and embracing a form of manhood which challenges sexism, strengthens emotional connections and facilitates loving relationships.

The Autobiography of an Ex-Coloured Man

James Weldon Johnson was a lawyer, educator, social reformer, songwriter, and critic. However, when he became a poet and novelist that is where he found his nitch.

The point is: Successful people read. A lot. And what about us young, wildly ambitious black men who want to follow in their footsteps? We have that hunger, that drive, and desire. The question is: What should we read? What will help us on the path laid out for us — and all that it entails? Make notes and apply them to your lives.

Things Every Millennial Man Should Own: Part I

Let’s be real besides the basics of food, water and shelter, what does a man really need? Clothing, money and a comfy place are probably the first things that come your head right? If they’re not, I’m literally judging you.

Maseratis and cigars are really nice if you can actually afford them but there are some essentials that I feel every young man should own. This list is mainly for the man who is always seeking to better himself. It’s not about being materialistic. It’s about understanding that the things you surround yourself with are an indication of your values, confidence, and self-respect. See what I have so far:

A good bed/mattress/sheets

Even if you don’t have your own place at this point in your life, a good bed/mattress/sheets should be in your bedroom. Not debate here, clean fresh sheets on a sturdy mattress on a good bed is the least you could do fellas. Men who don’t own a bed should not be having sex, period.

A good laptop

A quality laptop computer is arguably a man’s most essential weapon. Indeed, when it comes to modern gadgets for men, nothing is more important than being strapped with a prime laptop. After all, it’s a mobile workstation, communication hub, entertainment centre, gaming console and storage unit wrapped in one.

A few great books

Whether you do digital books or the good old paperbacks, books are an essential. TV and social media teach us a lot but we should never underestimate the power and knowledge that a good book provides. Books work out our brains the same way weights work out our muscles.

TV

Ensure you own a smart television for yourself. In 2020, no man should actually not own one. There are devices you can purchase to make a “unsmart” TV smart.

A good phone

Like a laptop, a phone is nowadays a communication hub, entertainment centre, gaming console and storage unit wrapped in one. You need a good phone to communicate efficiently, capture and relay memories and just for your overall entertainment.

Sunglasses

Protect your eyes from our favorite star while looking like a boss. Need I say more?

Electric Toothbrush

Why should you invest in an electric toothbrush rather than a normal one? Because it's better. Numerous studies found that electric toothbrushes cut down on plaque and gingivitis more effectively than traditional ones. We're talking by 21% and 11% respectively. What’s in your bathroom?

Earphones/Headphones

If only the most immersive audio experience will suffice, accept nothing less than the best noise-cancelling headphones. Each pair uses proprietary technology to drown out exterior sounds like crying babies or honking horns.

Moisturizer

Moisturize and drink your water because your black will crack if it’s dry!

A good wallet

Don’t you dare walk around with a dusty wad of cracked phleather calling that a wallet. Protect your wealth (even if it’s lack thereof lol) with a decent looking simple wallet. Is that too much?

What did I miss?

My Skin Care Regimen – Uncomplicated ASF!

Gentlemen, how many of you out there actually have a men’s skin care regimen? Probably not many, I know the struggle I hate hate sticking to routines – not really hate but I have a big problem actually following through but I have come to learn that things like skin care and fitness routines kind of map your way into your mid-life, if we think it’s hard now, imagine when you’re kicking forty and have to start from scratch? There no argument that taking care of your body is important we just have to find simple, effective and creative ways to get them done without a lot of time, effort or money into skin care. That’s why I will give you an overview and show you the products I use.

Note will I am a heavily melanated oily skinned young man from the hot ass Caribbean so you may want to keep that into consideration as you develop your own routine. Research products convenient to your climate – you may even want to keep your “summer routine” a little different from your “fall/winter routine”. You may need to keep into consideration convenience and affordable product. Let’s be real, makes no sense to buy expensive products and can’t maintain the regimen.

Here are a few general summary steps:

1.     Remove Build-Up—Get rid of the old, dead skin cells and reveal younger skin with a SCRUB or EXFOILATOR. Feel your confident best while sporting a more youthful good-looking face like mine. (Twice Weekly)

2.     Cleanse Your Mug— WASH using a facial cleanser removes grime and leaves your good-looking mug glowing with your unique awesomeness. (Twice Daily)

3.     Do Away with Excess – Astringent OR Toner. The astringent (oily/combination skin) is the stronger form which removes left over cleanser and removes excess oil from skin whilst the toner (dry and normal skin) is milder form which only formulated to remove excess cleanser and helps to hydrate skin. (Twice Daily)

4.     Protect Your Good Looks—Use a morning daily moisturizer which should be locked and loaded with 20 SPF sunscreen to protect your good looks and should keep your face hydrated. (Once Daily)

5.     Sleep on It—Use a PM moisturizer which should work hard when you are sleeping to repair, replenish and regenerate your manly features. (Once Daily)

6.     Be Super Dude—SERUMS are power packed with everything a guy needs to look super all the time, clearly if you buy one for men. They should be loaded with antioxidants, vitamins and anti-aging ingredients, you will notice improved skin tone and reduced fine lines and wrinkles when you see yourself in the reflection of your favourite piece of chrome. 

A few things from my stash.

Here are some the things I use as a part of my daily skin routine:

1. Burt Bee’s Natural Pore Refining Scrub (4 oz) $9.99

2. Burt Bee’s Natural Cleanser (5oz, Purifying Gel) $9.99

3. Burt Bee’s Natural Clarifying Toner (5 oz) $9.99

4. Shea Moisture 100% Virgin Coconut Oil Face Lotion (3 oz) $10.99

5. Shea Moisture 100% Pure Shea Oil Head to Toe Moisturization (1.6 oz) $10.99

6. Shea Moisture’s Core Men’s Kit (Includes Body Wash, Beard Oil & Balm) $38.96

7. The Ordinary’s High Strength Vitamin & Mineral Serum (30 mL) $19.99

Other General Body Care Mentions:

• Quip Toothbrush & Toothpaste Set

• Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue

• Every Jack Man Natural Deodorant

• Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula